Why You Need To Master Public Listening To Master Public Speaking

Public speaking is always a conversation.

It’s as much about listening as it is about speaking.

How can we expect to truly influence our audiences if we’re not receptive to what they have to say about what we share?

The challenge is that whilst our audiences are always speaking to us, most of the time their contribution isn’t vocalised.

On this week’s episode of with INTENT: Chris Wickenden provides his step by step guidance on how to master the all important skill of public listening to transform your public speaking and supercharge your influence with audiences.

Transcript

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Hey, Chris here from FROM:TODAY. And this week I want to talk about the importance of mastering the skill of public listening in order to ensure the success of our public speaking engagements. So, um, we've been running a lot of workshops recently on public speaking. We've got some more coming up as well. And one of the things I love about our work is, however much of a really clear structure that we have and a program that we're following, The conversations are always really different and the last two sessions we've run have been so so interesting because it's really reinforced the fact that there is not enough support in this area. There's not enough support for speakers to feel comfortable and at ease, to be present with their audience, to truly take them in, to truly respond to their needs. And this makes sense. It makes total sense because it's the speaking part that we have complete control over. We can curate the material that we feel is right for our audience, which is all brilliant practice. We can structure the arc of that presentation. We can put together a script or a loose script, which we can then learn, and then we can rehearse it. We can run it over and over. And what can happen in that period, if the stakes are high, and as the event approaches, and we're feeling a bit nervous, we're starting to feel a bit vulnerable, The temptation is to sort of fix a performance. We think, do you know what, this is going really well. I liked the way I did it there. Let me just do that over and over and over again so I can just replicate it before the audience and there's security in that. And if your aim is to get through the presentation without any major hiccups, for it to be fairly polished and for you even to get some fairly positive feedback, then that might do for you. But, the problem is we are missing out on something absolutely crucial and central to any public speaking engagement, and that's the audience. They are your only reason to speak. And what about how they receive your presentation? How are we able to really serve their needs if we're really effectively just pressing play on a performance that we prepared in solitude, when we thought, yeah, that seems right, I feel comfortable with that. And depending on how you look at it, unfortunately, or fortunately, really great public speaking requires a lot of effort. An element of bravery, a comfort with embracing uncertainty with simply sitting with the audience, a comfort with not knowing, a comfort with a presentation, maybe going down a slightly different path, a comfort with it being different every single time. So what can we do about that? Well, there's a couple of things that you can do in preparation. Number one is to know your material so well that you almost have permission to forget it. And I don't mean literally, but I mean that you know it so well it's in your body so that you don't have to be when you're with your audience. Consciously recalling something. Because all that does is take you out of the moment. You're in your own head. And that security in the content can give you the confidence to simply be present, to be more malleable in response to your audience's needs. So that's key. Really, really knowing your content. Number two, factor in time in your presentation and actually put in spaces for questions, for audience engagement. So it doesn't all have to be left to the end. It feels more like a conversation. It feels like something that's two way. Now other than that, there isn't a huge amount that you can do until the actual day itself. You can't spend weeks sort of, Practicing your listening when the audience aren't there. You can practice your speaking, but you can't practice the listening. So, there are some things that you can do when it comes to the day. And so much of this is about lowering that mental chatter, lowering the level of stress, so that you feel comfortable when you arrive in the room. You know your stuff, and you're ready to simply have a conversation with your audience. So, number one, find some time earlier in the day when you feel quite relaxed to do that final rehearsal. Run through that content. Maybe it doesn't have to be from start to finish. There could be a shorthand to it. But this is all about building that reassurance that you know your stuff, you can trust it, and you can let it go. Number two, don't spend the build up neurotically running through those first lines or the whole presentation. What you want to do is clear your head, relax, trust that it's there. Number three, when you arrive at the venue, if you get the chance to actually speak to some people that are going to be in your audience, absolutely do it. It opens up the channels of communication. It gives you an opportunity to start actually having a conversation with them so that when you get up to present, it doesn't feel like, Oh, here we go. Now it's my performance. We're just continuing something that we did a bit more intimately before. Number four, if you do feel that those nerves are arising just at that moment where you're going to be speaking soon, Do some simple mindful breathing in through the nose, out through the mouth. And if it helps mentally, just saying, as you do it, I'm breathing in now, I'm breathing out now. And all of it's just about sort of getting that, that, that noise out of the head, getting out of your head. And finally, number five, when you are up there, don't be afraid to actually look at your audience. And I don't mean stare, but they're not a faceless mass. You are speaking to a collection of individuals. And there's some amazing stuff that happens when you actually give non threatening eye contact to people, when you're just letting people in. Um, there are social bonding hormones that get released. It lowers your own level of stress, it lowers the stress of the audience, and you start to connect. And it creates a much more conducive atmosphere for people. effectively a conversation to be happening. Even if all the words are coming from you, you feel comfortable to be able to be picking up on what the audience are giving you, what they're telling you, whether it's verbally or whether it's physically, doesn't matter. So, I hope that these tips were helpful. Please do look out For our virtual workshop, which is coming up to public speaking workshop on the 27th of June, please sign up to that. It will be advertised on LinkedIn and you can get in touch with me as always. I'm very happy to continue this conversation at chris@fromtoday.com. com or simply on LinkedIn. I look forward to speaking to you soon. Cheers.